pausa

for me coming back to valencia feels like a pause. a breath of hot humid air... in a good way... think sauna. ha. honestly, being here is refreashing. today i barely left the apt. i slept until two in the afternoon, since there were no windows in my room, which i havent done in months. i washed myself and my clothes with more attention then they have recived in about a month. i made a simple veggie meal for myself with asian spicy peppers that i brought with me from ireland, while listening to international gypsy music. and well causually lazed about. i am relishing in the fact that i dont have to move to a new location and that im somewhere that feels familar.

my arrival was a suprise birthday present for hada, which vincent, bartok and i planed. i arrived with a red satin ribbon tied to my hat. she was delighted. interstingly the special birthday food was the spainish equivolant of wonder bread with nutella, which we ate on a public dock over looking a lake. i could have been in michigan if we had been speaking english. the weather was even uncommonly chilly.

it is also a bit surreal. it almost feels as if i didnt leave and the last month was the dream i had during my uncommonly long slumber. is it really july? has connor just left or is ze about to arrive? i touch the scar on my shin and wiggle my broken toe to remind myself that it really happened. oh how bodies are a quilt of lived experiances and linear time is an abstrat concept.

in retrospect i can not decide if the irish farm or the tree house community rates higher. im quite determined that my future with include both again. i idealize a future where i share a plot of land with tree houses and benders, full of radical kids shareing skills and ideas, i wake up with the sun and get excited about the subtle changes in my enviroment- fruit ripening, leaves decaying, the freezing or thawing of a near by creek. maybe leaving now and again to facilitate workshops and conferances... if i had no student loans i would not be searching for a job. oh america, you have cleverly shackled me to your capitalistic system... for a time.

but in my last months of freedom i have more adventures on my horizon. as soon as i hear from evan i will make my way to italy...